Dealing with Grief on Valentines Day

There are many times throughout the year when you receive a stark reminder of the loss of someone you love. It might be Mothering Sunday, Father's Day, Christmas or Valentines Day. On days such as these it can feel like everywhere you turn there's a huge reminder that you'll be facing it without your loved one.

Supermarkets, restaurants, the TV, radio, magazines, your e-mail are full of reminders and sometimes it can be a bit too much!

Valentines Day is coming up and if you've lost your other half it can be a real trigger, in my experience it pays to have a plan and put some coping mechanisms in place.

Here are my suggestions.

1) Unsubscribe

  • Most companies give you the chance to unsubscribe from marketing e-mails for certain occasions, my advice is click that button!

  • It wont mean you'll stop hearing from them completely, it just means that for Valentines Day your inbox wont be full of reminders.

2) Honour your loved one.

  • The love you feel doesn't go away and so find a way of acknowledging it.

  • It might be that you light a candle, visit your loved ones final resting place, or buy some flowers.

  • It might be you share stories and memories with family and friends, it's great to reach out to people who shared your love and embrace it together.

3) Make a plan.

  • It doesn't matter what that plan is, it might be you plan to go to work as normal, you might book the day off and spend it with friends or at home watching your favourite film or book yourself a spa day and get pampered.

  • If you know you're going to find the day tough then make a plan to do something, knowing that you've taken control of the day will help, just make sure that you've done whats right for you.

4) Be creative.

  • It might be you find comfort from doing something creative, if so then you could write your loved one a poem or draw them a picture.

  • Your creativity might have nothing to do with your loved one and it might be that you decide that the best thing for you is to do a creative hobby that you enjoy, but never get the time to enjoy.

5) Be kind to yourself.

  • Valentines Day can be an assault on the senses, images of loved up couples everywhere, love songs on the radio, romantic films on the TV, so do whatever you need to.

  • If you don't want to take up a friend's offer to go out for dinner or chat on the phone, then don't. Do what you need too and remember you're doing your very best.

If you're feeling overwhelmed by feelings of grief, then please don't suffer alone, there are many places that can offer you help and advice, your local GP, The Good Grief Trust, Cruse Bereavement Care, or Widowed and Young.

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